its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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