I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
