they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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