I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
