so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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