Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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