do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
