let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
