i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
