So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
