Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Operation Purity has been aborted
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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