You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
