Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
