He is an equal opportunity slut.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
