Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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