I am spending my child support on dildos
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
