She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
