talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize