I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
