you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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