i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
