having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
