someone get that fucking seahorse.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
