Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
