also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My liver just had a heart attack.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
