Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
