And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
