Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
