I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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