If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
