Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wish life had little blips of pornography
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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