This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
