i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
