so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
