is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
