He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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