My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
