she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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