I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize