she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
