I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
