Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize