I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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