Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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