I just made out with a guy for $7.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
