the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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