He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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