$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
