Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
