My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
